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Date: Feb 15, 2008, 13:15:07
Category: Literature -> Prose -> Fiction -> Science Fiction
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Tools used: OpenOffice.org
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Views: 24 (Full: 15)
A Mysterious Tale by Mirrin

Description:
Ok, I've decided to do a little psychological experiment here. I want to see just how this little bit of writing gets across what I intended with minimal to no physical description.

Here's how it works: You read the short tale and then you tell me what you think it's about, what the characters look like, etc. The only hint is the category in which this work is placed: Science Fiction. The rest is up to you.

In return for your time and effort, I shall... um... ... ok, I don't have anything to give in return except my thanks. I hope that's enough.
A Mysterious Tale by Mirrin


In the not too distant future...

“How did these people come to be such beasts?” she asked to herself as she looked down into the smoking wreckage of what had not long before been a slave labor camp. Her tail hung limply between her legs and her face was damp with tears. She had clearly been crying.

“Such questions are never easily answered Commander Ambwarra,” came a low, somewhat grating masculine voice from behind her. “Indeed, if we could answer them, there would be no need for these accursed wars.”

“Obviously,” she sighed in a strangely caustic fashion. Philosophy was not something she had on her mind at the moment, only the desire for vengeance against the perpetrators of the smoldering horror in front of her.

“I've never heard you speak in such a tone,” he responded, noting the subtle hints of the feelings she had pent up inside of her, “are you not feeling well?”

“Oh, come on doctor! You've seen even worse of the horrors here than I have!”

“Very correct, Commander, I have.”

“Aren't you the least bit angry at these scum for what they've done?”

“Of course, probably just as angry as you, but I'm not about to let that interfere with my duties or control my actions. There are times and places to express one's feelings. This is not one of them.”

“And what am I supposed to do now that there's nothing else?” she asked angrily, turning around and looking at the wrinkled, bony face of the Gi'landran medical officer.

The doctor was about to reply when a third figure appeared, another Gi'landran who didn't look quite so wrinkled as the doctor.

“At it again, you two?” he asked. “You'll never learn, will you doc?”

“Lieutenant Kadriss, I was merely attempting to point out that excessive emotion at the current juncture is...”

“Enough! Just... leave me alone. I just want to be alone for a while,” Commander Ambwarra snapped at her two subordinates.

“Of course, ma'am,” Lieutenant Kadriss replied, “but I was instructed to tell you that the ship's departing in two hours. The last divisions are on transport and on their way to the fleet rendezvous. The REAL war gets underway in seven days and we certainly don't want to miss that, do we?”

“War...” the doctor huffed as he turned to leave, “Why can't these people learn to get along?”

“Don't you worry about that, doc,” the Lieutenant said as he followed the doctor back toward the landing zone, “they're going to learn... one way or another. Those corrupt bastards running that show won't know what hit them.”


Copyright 2008 Mirrin Adashi (mirrinadashi@gmail.com), all rights reserved
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Well, given that I think you've explained the universe to me in the past. I'll approach this by ignoring that knowledge.

Hmm... I actually envisioned Commander Ambwarra as my Lunilaw species which look somewhat like anthropomorphic wolves. (Just avoiding about 5 paragraphs of explaination about the species) I suppose this happened because of this Her tail hung limply between her legs... which tells me that the character needs a tail of a certain length. The commander seems to not be worthy of her rank. She's too emotional and doesn't seem to be able to handle the stress of actual warfare. Granted I can't see inside her head right now and there isn't the context to make a better judgement of her.

As for the Doctor, I kind of envisioned him as the same species on the first read through. On my second read through I envision him to be an older member of my Su'Ku'Taa species. The Doctor seems to have the proper attitude, cool, almost cold under stress and able to think clearly. But the doctor also doesn't seem to understand war and thinks there always a way to talk things out instead. That or he is simply tired of war.

Lieutenant Kadriss is the same species as the doctor and some what younger but still past his prime. I also assume that he is a career military officer that hasn't been able to or doesn't want to be promoted. He has a great deal of experience. I get the feeling he is amused by the commander's clashes with the doctor and he thinks it's a good think most of the time.

As for the setting. I envision this was once a colony world that the enemy abandoned after nuking it themselves. They didn't fire the nukes to completely destroy the place, just enough that everyone left behind would die as a result. I get the idea this happens at the start of a long and bloody conflict.
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An interesting analysis. I shall explain more to you in a pm now, since you've heard more of my world already.
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Interesting experiment! I'll probably read [epochwolf]'s comment after posting this and feel silly for being WAY off the mark.

First, the characters. I envisioned humans with animal traits - in this case, canine, for some reason. The medical officer I imagined as very dark and rather shaggy in appearance (despite the bony and wrinkled face, which I had difficulty envisioning since I already had the shaggy mental image in place by the time I got that far), with his facial features bunched closely together, with a weak chin and heavy brow.

Commander Ambwarra I envisioned with short white brown-spotted fur, with some sort of outfit/medallion somewhere that denotes her rank. I imagined her sitting like a human would, feet dangling on the downward slope of the hill-thingy that this is set on.

Lieutenant Kadriss...I'm not as sure. I see him more like the medical officer, lighter-complexioned, with a mischievous attitude and approach.

What it's about...I'm not sure, beyond that a war is beginning soon, and these three are a part of it. Whether or not they were on the side of those who were in charge of the slave camp is up in the air.

Funny thing is...I imagined the ship and landing zone to look almost exactly like the versions in the original Halo.

I hope that's the kind of thing you're looking for!
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Another canine interpretation... I wonder if that interpretation reflects on the preference of an individual for either dogs or cats. Fascinating.
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I actually very much prefer cats over dogs, which is partially why the canine association surprised me.
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Oh dear...

Um... blame Epochwolf?

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Epochwolf is a good scapegoat.

It's all his fault.

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I see a spoof on The Planet Of The Apes?
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Oh dear... please... not... that...
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Sorry mate
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Hmm... well, I viewed the commander as a sort of feline anthro, and my imagination turned her into something rather like a cheetah. Of course, that was in absence of a more precise decription of her appearance.

The doctor and Lieutenant, I pictured as a separate species, although now I'm not entirely sure where that mental image came from. The wrinkled-ness means I'm picturing a strange sort of alien race, akin to humanoid prunes. I hope that doesn't clash too horribly with your own imaginings of the characters...

Possibly an interesting point... my blithe ignorance of army ranks meant that the line "Commander Ambwarra snapped at her two subordinates" came as quite a surprise - the dislogue before that had led me to believe the *doctor* was talking to a subordinate. However, that's probably just me, and unfortunately it's impossible to guard against an ignorant reader.
On a related note, though, my inner feminist is gritting her teeth at the fact that it's the female character who, even in a command position, is letting her feelings "interfere with her duties", as the doctor says. How would she have risen to this position in the first place, were she prone to letting emotions rule judgement?
Funnily enough, the inner feminist also took umbridge at the doctor's comments. His words seem very condescending, and I'm afraid it means I've already taken a dislike to his character. Perhaps that was a flaw you gave him deliberately.
(Of course, I've only read this snippet, so my imagination isn't giving your charactersation the benefit of the doubt.)

As to what's going on... the fact that it's a slave labour camp that has been destroyed, and the lieutenant is talking about "those corrupt bastards running that show"... I'm wondering if this is some sort of civil war? Normally, enemies aren't described as "corrupt" unless they're in some role of power which they're abusing. I'm wondering if these characters are part of a resistance movement against a corrupt government... but I can't guess very much more, and I'm not certain that my interpretation makes much sense. After all, where would a resistance movement find so much equipment, and would they really be structured like an army?

Well, I hope I've helped, in whatever slightly obscure way...
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An interesting interpretation of the storyline.

Since replies have been sparse, I'll spill most of the beans.

Cdr. Ambwarra is a special duty naval officer at the moment assigned to investigate and see to the punishment of war crimes committed by the party that build the slave labor camp. As for her feelings... she's never dealt with so horrible a situation before and I think anyone would have a rough reaction the first time seeing that sort of stuff. The other two characters are marines and have the points of view of the doctor who's seen it all and the soldier who's more interesting in shooting up the criminals than putting them in a prison.

As to who is responsible for the slave labor camp... that must remain a mystery for the time being.
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Oooh, ok... that does explain it better. My inner feminist is mollified.

A mystery for now? *Shall wait patiently*...
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